A Tea with Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist

A Tea with Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist

Every now and then we post conversations we have with incredible people who live mindfully whether it’s living with less or being healthy without doing harm to others. This is not an interview series but more a down-to-earth catchup over a casual cup of tea. Today, we catch up with Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist.

Joshua and his young family were introduced to minimalism ten years ago during a short conversation with their neighbour. Since then, Joshua’s story and writing have inspired millions around the world to find more life by owning fewer possessions. Today, based on his thoughtful and intentional approach to minimalism, he is one of the leading voices in the modern simplicity movement reaching over 1 million readers every month. In this conversation we pick Joshua’s brain about his take on minimalism, misconceptions of decluttering and his relationship with money. 

What does minimalism mean to you?

I define minimalism as the intentional promotion of the things we most value by removing anything that distracts us from it.

This is not a definition that I came into minimalism with. I realised that all the stuff I had accumulated over the years was keeping me from the things that were most important to me.

But as I began trying to own less, I felt like I was forced to answer a lot of questions about values. What was important in my life?

As I became clearer on some of those things, that in turn fed into minimalism, first in the things I owned and then into other areas of life as well.

Would you be able to shed some light on what minimalism means in other areas of life, outside of those tangible physical items?

I read a lot of stories of how people got into minimalism and I think intentionality is the keyword here. Again like my definition, it’s the intentional of promotion of what you most value.

Some people find intentionality in one thing which leads to different things.

For example, Courtney Carver first became intentional about the food she was eating, which then led her into questioning her schedule and then eventually her possessions.

I came at it from the opposite side. For me, at first, it was about physical possessions. But as I began becoming intentional about the things I owned, I also began questioning how I was spending my time and what things I had loaded into my schedule.

I became more intentional about my health, which then led to being more intentional about the food I was eating. There’s so many ways minimalism can impact your life.

I know some people talk about intentionality in relationships. Which is important if you need to cut out people in your life for any specific reason. But I never felt like that was an area that I wrestled with. I didn’t have many, if any unhealthy relationships leading into minimalism. Everyones journey is different.

What do you think holds people back on embarking on this journey towards intentionality?

I think that the main thing that keeps most people embarking on the mindset is that they’ve never even been introduced to the idea of intentionality. Or they’ve never really considered the full weight of how it would impact their life.

We live in a culture where we’re constantly being told to accumulate more and more. And the idea of purposefully owning less, is pretty foreign to most people.

When I go speak on the topic to a room full of people, there are very few that disagree with me when it comes to minimalism. When you lay it out to them, most people can see the benefit of it and agree with it. It comes down to how a lot of people haven’t considered how intentionality and minimalism could benefit their lives.

Then there’s another level where there’s people who hear about minimalism and want to embrace it but there are many obstacles that prevent them from getting started.

There are different personality types including those who are extremely sentimental, or those who tend to worry a lot. Some of these personality types may struggle to apply minimalism to their life, as there could be some factors from their upbringing and environment that come into play. For example, if the world that they grew up in was very unstable and always changing, then there’s a grasping for security in the things that they own.

A Tea with Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist

In a recent post, you mentioned that the question of, “Does this item spark joy?”, is the wrong question to be asking when decluttering. Would you mind elaborating on your stance?

I understand that the question, “Does it spark joy?” wasn’t entirely Marie’s mindset. It wasn’t the only question that she raised in the book. But it became such a tagline, that people thought they understood it without reading the book.

Beyond that, the problem I have with the surface of the question, is that I don’t believe any type of possession can spark true joy in your life. I don’t think there’s any product that can at least bring lasting joy in life.

Where we find our joy in life is when we’re walking in-line with our values and fulfilling our purpose. I would contend that the most fulfilling purposes in life are the ones that are selfless, and those that are benefiting other people and those that are benefiting society.

I wanted to refrain the question a little bit. I don’t think the filter we should have concerning our possessions is, “Does it spark personal joy or happiness inside of me?” but the question we should be asking is “Does this item help me fulfil my purpose in life?” It’s a deeper question and it’s a harder question.

People can use minimalism to pursue whatever they want. And really its up to them to decide where they’re going to look for happiness and joy. I just think that the longest lasting fulfilment in life is when we can serve others and benefit the people around us. And I think that’s the question we should be asking more.

As you have taken on more projects professionally in the pursuit to serve others, how have you balanced and managed your commitments whilst maintaining a minimalist mindset?

I think that we find management in getting very focused and intentional about our mission and what we want to do.

I sometimes have to laugh when people make comments saying that it’s not very minimalist of me to have so many readers on my blog, or it’s not minimalist of me to have that many people in my Facebook group.

My response is always the same. I’m minimising my possessions and commitments so that I can maximise somewhere else. Minimalism isn’t just about subtraction. In fact it’s more about addition than it is about subtraction. It’s about adding more of the significant pursuits in life by removing any of the things that are distracting me from that.

When you look at the things that I’m doing including the blogging, the books, course and magazine, they’re all centred around the same mission of helping people simplify their lives so that they can reach their greatest potential.

I would be the first to say that I wouldn’t be doing half this stuff that I’m able to be doing now, If I hadn’t minimised my possessions and distractions.

So how do I manage that? It’s always a question of, does this align with my mission? Does it align with how I can move minimalism forward? And if it does and I have the capacity to do it, because I’ve minimised elsewhere, then I’m all for it.

A Tea with Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist

Has minimalism changed your relationship with money?

Yes, definitely. Minimalism changed my view of how much money I needed. We lived pay cheque to pay cheque despite significant pay increases over our married life. We were never able to get ahead financially and I could never figure out why. Until I started pursuing minimalism and figured out it’s because I just keep on buying things. Whatever I’d make, I’d just spend it.

Once you become content with desiring less, you realise how much money you were wasting on other things.

At that point, minimalism begins to open up options for generosity. Capacity for generosity where there wasn’t before. I’m convinced that most people want to be generous or at least they want to be known as generous. But when you’re spending all of your money on yourself you don’t give yourself the capacity to be generous.

I had spent a lot of time in developing nations helping communities build schools and churches where they previously had nothing. Very interestingly, this was all while I began questioning possessions and happiness. And seeing how possessions don’t always coincide with happiness. I started noticing that many of these people who had nothing were just as happy, or even happier so it seemed than your average American.

They seemed to have a tighter relationship with each other and were more dependent on each other. They found happiness outside of possessions. So is owning more stuff really making us happy? Which led to the question of, does money really make us more happy? What are some of the drawbacks of wealth in our lives?

There are certain temptations that come along with having means, isolation and loneliness to name a few. When we’re living 2200 square foot homes, we have a different relationship with other people compared to living next to people in developing counties living under shared shelter.

The more money we have the more we seem to separate ourselves from those who don’t have any. And we’re less likely to put ourselves in their shoes. So I think we lose a bit of compassion and empathy. There’s also a bit of pride and arrogance that comes with having means.

All of that to say that yes, minimalism has helped me to recognise that money comes with certain temptations and drawbacks that I don’t think a lot of people talk about.

remember reading that over 70% of Americans have financial related stress. I’m always amazed by that number considering America is one of the wealthiest nations in the world. Why are 7/10 of us unhappy with our financial situation? It’s not because we don’t have enough money. We all have homes, food and clothes. We’re not stressed about money because we don’t have enough. We’re stressed about money because we keep looking for it to provide something that it was not intended for it to provide. We keep looking for money to provide more happiness and security. Then when we do get more money and it doesn’t feel that way, we think the answer is to get even more money! We keep moving the goal post and I think that’s what is causing the stress.

5 comments… add one
  • Daisy 19/12/2017 Reply

    Great interview, Masa & Michael! I like how Joshua reframes the whole “spark joy” question that makes a lot of non-minimalists looking at our lifestyle choices skeptical.

    • Thanks Daisy! Glad you enjoyed the conversation. Yes, it’s a creative way he reframed the question.

  • N 24/12/2017 Reply

    Wonderful interview! Especially loved the question “Does this item help me fulfil my purpose in life?”
    Thanks for publishing!

  • LeighAnn 26/12/2017 Reply

    I have a grown daughter who lives in a tiny space in a foreign country as a single parent of her young preschool active daughter, When I ask why she is not keeping her flat in order (it is very cluttered) she says she has too much stuff (baby/child clothing in boxes to sell or donate, toys for her only daughter and because she works a lot to pay expenses she is rarely at home to make arrangements for charities to stop to get items or have time to sell items on the internet); not picking up after herself after meals or arrival from work etc etc). She has a washing machine, but must hang clothes in her living space and often has piles of clothes to fold on a chair or end of a bed etc. When I ask her what is keeping her from getting her clutter out and having order she says she becomes paralyzed — not sure where to start first; feeling overwhelmed then continuing to get behind and as a single parent with little support for an older sister and very little financial resources to get help. She sees a psychologist and has been working on ways to solve this issue. How can I encourage her to minimalize? I have suggested putting a timer on for 30 minutes and chose a chore that must be done, then do something she wants to do for 30 minutes (like cross stitch; play with her daughter etc) until she completes all her duties as a single woman and Mother. Are there any other techniques or websites you can recommend to help her get order to her space then her mind will be more focused?

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